Friday, February 25, 2005

The Journey of Taste - Walkman Whiskey (hic)!!!

Kuki, Vjn, Naveen and I were invited to this whiskey tasting event at The Park.
The Brand: Johnnie Walker. The Mood: Hoity Toity. The Event: Not much free booze.

Apparently whiskey connoisseurs are those who have a nose with remarkable sniffing ability. They can sniff any whiskey and say, “Whoa., this is speyside, born out of a sherry cask from Spain, approximately 17-19 years matured in Scotland and is rich fruit flavored with a tinge of….”

“rite Humphrey,” the barman interrupts, “time to go home, pay the bill ye bampot fishmonger!!”

JW-Black label is a blend of 40 malt and grain whiskey brewed from all corners of Scotland, and is a premium whiskey because of the high price. Its so frightfully expensive that you order it only for special occasions, such as your friends birthday and he’s paying the bill. Apparently there are some etiquettes you need to observe while consuming this premium brand, which is the reason for this event.

So here we were sitting by the snooty table, with a bunch of people who, at some point in their life, drank hootch until some of their friends either lost their eyes or started making hootch or are in jail.
And then one of their friends, who moved to bigger things in life, and started drinking McDowell’s, or in times of penury, drank Monitor, got a group invitation to the event.

I don’t mean to undermine those present at the event, but because I got pissed they did not shut the cell phones off. I will take on these social outcasts later, who lack the basic minimum decency to respect silence during presentations. But I am digressing…

Coming to the etiquettes of fine drinking…..
Just wondering how many of us, while at the bar say, “Hmmm, this is bitter-sweet bitter-sweet, taste of apricot and pine with a smokey woody spicy burst at the palate and a smooth tingly trail down the throat…, its gotta be mmm Johnnie Walker black label or perhaps eerrr., Bushmills Irish…???”
Imagine your friends’ reaction, who, ever since you gave up the feeding bottle, drank with you all sorts of putrid intoxicating nash that has made you all collective accomplices of drunken debauchery…,

“(Hic), what was that..?? just 13 shots down and you thi ..hic.. nk you are a conn err coonosir.. hic.??” “…brother dude, can you (hic), stop drinking sauce…..(hic)?!!”

Well whatever. We enjoyed the tuition at The Park, tasted those miserably small teasers of fine Scotch whiskey and took the first step toward alcoholic snobbery.
But when its time to hit the booze button with dudes here., its only open, pour and glug glug glug…..
“escoooz me, some water pleeees, bbuuuurrrrrrp!”


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