Do unto others what others do unto you... also use a sledgehammer!

There’s this guy who annoys everyone at work with his remarks on butt sizes. To conceal identity, let’s call him ‘Buttman’.
My grandma used to say, “Those who don’t move their asses, end up having oversized ones” He is the living testimony to her theory.

I have friends who, by God’s oversight, were completely bereft of this appendage. When they get up from the couch, they leave something like 2 pugmarks instead of a whole depression. This is very embarrassing, and I have replaced all couches with wooden stools.

As for Buttman, he sits on his chair all day long, so that his freight-truck sized butt can grow bigger and can be seen from space! If he ever jogs, he need those red reflector spots stuck up his wazoo, so fellow joggers behind him will know to keep distance.
Imagine a small face, medium sized body and a humungous ass. Its like what you get when Oldsmobile gang-rapes Mickey mouse!!

Sorry about my flagrant invective., but he dared comment on my normal rear-side!
This is as best space as I can offer in the context., now, got to ensure he reads this and watches his trap next time around.

Heeeehaaaaww………