Sunday, December 18, 2005

WTO - We Want Your Money (6th Round)

What’s the WTO meet trying to achieve?? Every year, many top dignitaries of member countries fix up a date, time, place, airline tickets and hotel rooms to meet up and unanimously agree the other is a whole country of shameless robbers and gravediggers.
There are 2 main groups that sit on either side of the divide, one that is highly industrialized and thus rich with sky rocketing employee benefits and social welfare that makes even the cost of a pretzel seem like that of a Rolls-Royce jet engine while the other can make near rolls-Royce jet engines at the cost of a Pretzel with labor benefits a little better than buying adequate amount of toilet paper for the whole family for a whole year.

They met in Singapore, in Doha, in Cancun, and now in Hong kong and each is called a round and this is the 6th round of ministerial level talks. After so many rounds of talks, many elderly members are already feeling dizzy and are ready to vomit on the microphone while delivering an important repartee.
They discuss important issues like, Why Indian Cobras lost their appetite for Brazilian Bull Frogs?? Will they eat Chinese frogs or Chinese farmers?? What tastes better? What’s for Europe in this?? Since English Europeans coined the words, Bull Frog, Cobra and Farmer, whatever whoever eats anywhere, should pay us patency taxes! Hahaha!

While leaders of Asian countries feverishly defend their interests by bunking the conference and lounging in topless massage parlors, drunk out of their skull, the Americans are looking for WMD. The EU wants a cut in every word traded in the Asian and South American markets, while the Americans want to push their biggest export commodity – The CIA, which is responsible for Poverty in Africa, Bad Weather and Saliva.

Amidst all this annual pre-planned chaos, comes the annual pre-planned protest. People from different walks of life join together well in advance to write catchy phrases on placards, denouncing the WTO which, according to them “are a bunch of weasels out to ruin us” These are the guardians of Social Justice and Equal Opportunity, taking off from their work, to relentlessly fight against global capitalist hegemony, breaking away from apathy and telling the world in resounding solidarity, “Beer Rocks!”

While the protest is the most colorful cultural event that the various TV crews capture while the boring meetings are underway, the whole world watches re-runs of the NBA, Cricket or King Kong.

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