Sunday, April 17, 2005

Attack of the yak-yak verbal virus!!!

I have been going through a lot of bad times these days. Bad times are those that deluge your life at the most inappropriate times and keep sticking out more of its friends and cousins in all size and shapes and forms and hues just to ensure you go the whole mile.
To explain, I woke up this Sunday morning (which is very rare) with a clear head (which until now, was thought to be extinct)., with a lot of chores lined up for me to finish.

So off I set out for chore #1, which was, you wouldn’t believe it, getting out of bed without stepping on my sister’s neck.
No actually, my chore # 1 was going to the railway station to book tickets for our family’s Kerala trip to attend my sister’s wedding. So with great difficulty I convinced myself it was going to be fun. After traversing the 4 Kms to the booking office, and after a considerably pleasant drive, killing at least 43 pedestrians, 16 dogs, 8 cows and a cop, all of whom appeared to have been taken by surprise, that this car was not going to stop and this time their luck had run out!

I finally reached the booking office only to find the whole city there in a mad rush to book tickets to all sorts of places, which meant, I would have to wait in line for approximately my great grandson to be formed in the genitals of my grand son.
Yes, I could have asked my travel agent to do this grunt job., but the sleviathan hoogaboogoo (welsh for motherfuckers), turn into money sucking vampires during this season and will hurl all sorts of alternative choices that will lead you to jail for 1st degree murder. So my choice was, either go to jail or bring my car into the booking office.

Chore #2, was to go for my haircut, which I have been putting off for so long that I now resembled a Himalayan dope-smoking, nirvana seeking, mountain dwelling, goat-raping, 275 year old yogi, who was also a sleviathan hoogaboogoo.
At the barbers was no respite either, there were so many much older yogis that looked like they were forcibly pulled out of their graves, with hair like that of a colony of sea anemones, that could be better off burned than trimmed.

Post this came the biggest ordeal via a friend who is a die hard fan of South India’s biggest superstar – Rajnikant, who was threatening to immolate himself (not Rajnikant) if we didn’t oblige to go for the superstar’s latest flick – “Chandramukhi”… we obliged to preserve this piece of work from going up in flames. (Most who are common to us, will know what I mean)

So we went to this theatre in the ‘burbs., where a lot of cattle in the form of human beings come for entertainment. The theatre was on a high voltage frenzy, honestly, I have never seen such mass adulation from such a large number of fans, whose collective intelligence when compared with the door-knob, will make the door-knob look like Einstein.
A Rajni movie here gets a whole battery of people re-charged at the end of it, especially since this one released after a 3 year hiatus, had a multifold increase in dosage, resulting in souped up, turbo charged, radio-active, sleviathan hoogaboogoos.
My friend being one of them, actually gathered up enough courage and the audacity to ask us to pay for the tickets he booked for the movie he threatened us to watch!!!!!

To confess, I have nothing against Rajnikant or his fans., I am personally a great admirer of his movies and have watched a lot of it and even loved some. But since I also confessed right in the beginning that I am going through a really bad time, I don’t want to get beaten up by angry mobs of 'whats-that-welsh-word' for my mindless babble.
I still haven’t transmitted my great-grandson-making genes.

No but seriously, Hail Rajnikant, the undisputed, larger-than-life icon of my most beloved city!!!!!



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