Sunday, May 08, 2005

Cant find it? Google it – you’ll never find it………!!!

So the date is September 7th 2005, when I, like millions of men before me over thousands of years, will be married. And like millions of men before me, I too have to plan for my honeymoon but, unlike millions of men before me, I have proposed to do something unique for my honeymoon such as, find the etymology of the word.

Even about 10 years earlier, if one had to look for the origin of any word, he (assuming one is a male) had to go to a library 5 kms away from home, look for the book section among the many labyrinthine of shelves, and finally, see that cute girl who can’t reach for the book which makes you offer your services as a human ladder and forget all about the work you came for. Then you want to take her out for a coffee and then maybe a movie and then to the disco and then to the apartment and then you realize you are in love and decide to get married and fix a date and plan for the honeymoon, when holy shit of the laughing cow in heaven you realize, you haven’t found the etymology of the word ‘honeymoon’ yet and your previous fiancée is hunting for you with a lethal, electric nut cracker!!!

But now, life is much simpler with a 6 letter word called “Google” and you hit upon mogazillion links for the search offering etymology, meaning, honeymoon packages, airfare, porno and a Chinese tarot card reading women named honey moon (Chinese for egg noodles). All this at the comforts of your armchair and a muscle of your finger.

So combining the above technique and the muscle, I went to google and searched for the etymology of …… well its unique once again, cuz no man dead or alive I know has ever done this while planning for honeymoon, the word "Google"

Here’s what I found: In 1940, a mathematician named Edward Kasner, while being extremely annoyed that his mathematician predecessors had discovered all there is to discover, drank too much beer because the girls found him to be a booger eating nerd, spent most of his time babysitting his 9 year old nephew – Milton Sirotta, who, like most 9 year old, was evil.

One day, after shooting a tranquilizer dart at Milton, Kasner went about his reams of research papers, in which were lots of zeroes. He knew he was at the verge of a cutting edge discovery, when in one quick reflex action, shot another dart at the kid who was showing signs of awakening. In a flash of intellectual creativity that followed, he decided to give life to the 100 zeroes he had by putting, believe it or not, the digit 1 in front. Like all math geniuses, he too was bad in English, and didn’t know what to name this new outrageously big number with the impressive number of zeroes that would some day save human civilization from running out of numbers. So he carried his stoned nephew and put him in a tub full of ice water and then inserted a live hair-dryer, and the resulting gurgle effect Milton made while trying to stop his balls from exploding, Mr.Kasner found his word. Googol.

So you ask, but the website is Google?? That’s right, he discovered Googol alright, but got the spelling wrong, which approximately 58 years later, a guy named Larry Page, corrected apart from founding a company in the same name, who I, with info from reliable sources, suspect is the nephew who googled in Kasner’s tub!!

I am an avid user of Google that I have now forgotten referencing at the library, and with some new advanced tricks to streamline my search, I manage to get exactly what I’m looking for, and sometimes more, that I forget what I was looking for in the 1st place!
Hey waitaminute, did I start with some thing to do with honey, meads and lunar calender?? Hey, how did I get here and wh…..what the HELL IS THAT?? HELP! AARRRGHHH!!!! (Electric Nut Cracker hurts!)


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