Sunday, May 01, 2005

Show me the finger, ladies??!!

Males apparently are a defective lot. They, unlike the fairer sex, cannot put a lid on their excitement. This is why, most males around the world, while attending a crucial sports event, in their feverish excitement, will hoist their neighbor high up in the air and wave like they were a banner, or a country’s flag, or worse, launch them as missiles. I am a male, I am civil, I hate sports, I drink beer and so I smoke into other people’s ears.

Now that it is an established fact, that most males are genetically defective, that causes us to drink too much beer, watch only sports channels, eat junk food, fight extreme tendencies to kill fellow motorists/pedestrians, won’t ask for directions and shoot fountains of drool at the next visible hottest chic, we are not responsible for the mistakes we commit, it’s the damn genes, you know!

Being at the receiving end of divine mis-creation, all we ask for, from our fellow species, is tolerance toward the mistakes our genes compel us to commit and, to embrace us as we are with open arms wearing Victoria’s Secret satin negligee and/or pink thongs.

Now that we have reached an understanding about the unfair male genetic aberration, lets look at women. “Hey no Duke, I didn’t mean stare, suck that 100 ft drool back in!!”
With all these male bashing theories, if you thought Women are the perfect creation, you have been drinking too much beer!

According to this report, women whose index fingers are shorter than their ring fingers, indulge in casual sex. This is because only males are supposed to have this physical trait, which is a direct manifestation of our rogue gene, which triggers the restless urge amongst us helpless malekind to spread our gene pool far and wide, resulting in the pool to grow into a lake and then a raging ocean, resulting in over population which again results in people, sometime in groups, falling off the planet when it turns on its axis.
And I am digressing……….

The researcher, who is also a disgruntled helpless affected male, also goes on to say, that the strongest indicator of casual sex, is the amount spent on alcohol. The more you spend, the more population to tackle. So basically, a woman with short index fingers, and holding a mug of beer and is too inebriated to find her mouth, is probably Xena. Watch out, she can hoist you high up in the air, and the next thing you know is, you are in orbit with the hubble space telescope.

But that apart, men with all their shortcomings are forever creative to overcome their evolutionary mishap. We have drank that beer, ate that junkiest food, slunked in the couch all day watching our sport, been thankful for all the one night stands and simultaneously researched and concluded that we have a faulty gene to blame.

How else can you describe the creative genius of the guy who researched the above find using all the girls in his college as specimen???
That Bastard!

4 Comments:

Anonymous k said...

the couch awaits you,... during the game, after the game, tonite, tomorrow, forever!!
and,... my index finger is shorter than my ring finger ;)

10:12 AM  
Blogger Cosmo GRRL! said...

Hmmmm... my index finger is shorter than my ring finger...

8:26 PM  
Anonymous Larke said...

On which hand? And if both fingers are the same length? Then what? :P

8:13 AM  
Blogger Susheel Nair said...

Hi Larke, am not sure which hand. guess women wear rings on their left hand, right??
as for the same sized fingers, dunno what to make of it, guess they swing both ways??!!
anyways, thanx for visiting and leaving a trail. see ya around....

3:37 PM  

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