Sunday, June 12, 2005

Hiatus Explained

Almost 2 weeks have gone by since I had a concussion resulting in a temporary amnesia.
It happened when I was visiting my grandfather who, at the ripe age of 84, is so unbelievably active making me suspect he is an alien from a distant scum planet.

Why the vituperation?? Well, in the 80s, when I was a young, hot-blooded, adventurous, innocent schoolboy who, like most his age, liked to try out new hairstyles. In my very first attempt, when I had this funky hairstyle – however hideous that may be-, was ridiculed, blasted and castigated mercilessly to the point of self-annihilation (in simple words, suicide), by this senile geyser. I was paraded back to the barber’s, paraded with a stop at every neighbor’s house for a dose of ridicule by this vermin of a GF who, upon reaching the barber’s, asked my hair to be cut according to his specifications which was straight out of the lawn mowers guide to creeper buster.

Post the haircut, my head was photographed and archived which was later splashed in worldwide tabloids as unidentified crop circles. The trauma caused by peers, which lasted for almost 2 months, left a deep scab of anguish and contempt that could have turned me into a grandfather preying serial killer.
Now my GF has reached the twilight zone of his life and the only way he updates on his friends is by looking at the obituary column.

Coming back to our family re-union:
One evening when we (cousins) were all assembled for tea, we were partaking in a round of jokes, when our man crept from behind me and laughed hard at one of the jokes causing his ancient, saliva crusted dentures weighing closely to the mean mass of Jupiter, land on my head. The last thing I remembered was my mind switching off like a TV when the power goes out.
My doctors say that the impact was so huge, that the resultant shock waves were felt as far away as Mongolia where a bunch of farmers after eating a banana, kept the peel and threw themselves out.

This is how I lost my way to my blog site, dear readers, which I now wish to correct and update regularly with more mindless tirades. Now that the dust has more or less settled, and my memory more or less regained, I kind of figured finally that underwear is not to be worn on the forehead.

Meanwhile, reliable reports from my relatives say that my GF has refused to discard his dentures which, still carries a piece of my scalp with a bunch of long hairs sticking out his mouth, making him look like an alien from a stupid planet called “HairyMoose’sBollocks”

Am Back with a Vengeance!!!!


Blogger Ford Prefect said...

Awsome Blog dude ...
Good stuff ...

11:39 PM  

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